Welcome, mother-to-be, whether you are lying (im)patiently in bed per doctor's advise, or up and nesting, searching, just plain preparing.
Welcome, mother-wannabe, confused, curious, contemplating your (in)fertility, just made crazy by all the pressure, the probing, the condescending or possibly, ignoring. I've been there.
Welcome, mother of 1, or 2, or more than 3, to a brief respite from everything that mothers have to be.
...and if you are not one of the the above, you are still most welcome here or here (I implore you to stay haha). For someone important to you is one of us. And hopefully through these pages, she may be better understood.

Thursday, May 9, 2013


    Someone who actually read my blog and cares enough to tell me so directly, alerted me to the "nasty" stories I have told.  She is family, of course, and who else but family will tell you the truth (and actually read your blog hahaha).  I am ashamed to say I could not remember. I could not really remember destroying anyone's reputation...it is not something I do. 

   I thought about the subject, and said..didn't I put in some redeeming factor? Didn't the post actually show my own personal insecurity and actually give her credit for something? Like, reinvention? She said no, it was hurtful.

   It took me years before I actually started blogging. I still maintain my stand against making a blog a very very personal "diary".  Yet here despite the "anonymity" and assumption that "nobody will read it anyway", I have revealed my identity by sharing the blog url freely with friends recently.  In short, it is easy to figure me out, she said. So even if I did not put her name, anybody who knows us, will figure it out. Even the subject herself, if she read it. 

    When I started blogging, I did so with the intent to remain humble, avoid arrogance and cockiness.  Yet now I am made to feel I have been nasty.  Funny, I have been thanked by friends for "not being judgemental" about them. Seriously, you will hardly hear me say unkind words about friends, to friends.  That post being referred to-- I read it again.  All I stated were facts about real life events.  How could I be purposely hurtful for just stating them. They're common knowledge, and yes, I did credit the person for some success she has gained.  The reason I even thought it was a "reinvention" topic was, I have admired how she has successfully reinvented herself, while I still struggle. I remember we even discussed the very topic, she and I once before, with her the one admitting the follies of her youth. So it was something I was able to say straight to her face, without hiding behind a screen. 

    It's really difficult to call a spade a spade these days.  Again, I find myself lost in the world of social networking.  It seems to be a Catch-22 for me. Everyone else is "sharing" savvy.  I get surprised, sometimes, unpleasantly, with certain status posts by others I thought I knew... so I know a certain social network is one window to the soul I do not want open anymore.

    My solution for the blog is to take this hiatus. Perhaps review the posts.  Heck, this blog will not be missed. It has become too personal, and I did not want it to be.